I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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