make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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