My room smells like vodka and shame
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
