my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This house was built for laser tag.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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