and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
