I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my being single is dangerous.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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