Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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