drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
