I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
