She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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