A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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