i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
