I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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