I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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