Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
His nipple licking is glorious
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