R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
