This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
