so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i think i just lost a toe
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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