connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize