I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
