who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
