The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
