Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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