I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize