p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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