# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
