Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I came so hard my ears popped.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
