I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
