Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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