My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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