how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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