..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
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You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
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Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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