you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
