miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
