Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
