Got a toothbrush?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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