Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The Olympian is in my bed
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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