No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
