I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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