I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
