Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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