At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
