You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
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He told me they were just razor bumps!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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