We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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