Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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