I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
this hospital has no fireball
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
