i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
