my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't deserve a penis
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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