Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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