i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
