hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
