how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
