is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
