Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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