She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
