my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
