Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You can't just leave with hair like that
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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