There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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