im about as happy as oj after his trial
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize