I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
