I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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